Monday, July 28, 2008
#37: Viva la Vida
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
- Mother Teresa
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 9:04 PM
Sunday, July 27, 2008
#36: All that glitters is not gold.
And so concludes Inter-JC 2008, the day where all the hard work for the year is put to the Ultimate test.
[edit] I read through my post and decided that it doesn't quite sum up the day, so this is an update.[/edit]
It turned out to be a very unexpected day, with Cat getting elbowed in the head by some random fella (whether on purpose or not remains to be seen) and Guangyu doing MEGA spectacular goals in the nick of time (to everyone's awe) and many other moments which cannot be quantified by words.
1. An ACJC guy laid out (what is the past tense of layout anyway?) on the concrete and started bleeding. The irony of the whole thing was that even though the guy was from ACJC, it was the Rafflesians that rushed over and tended to his wound while his fellow ACJC-ians (though not from same team) did nothing but yell and then proceed to do absolutely nothing about it. I kid you not - I remember expressing dismay about it.
2. Cat got elbowed in the head by some guy (really, who breaks a fall with an elbow? it hurts even more) and just when Leeqi and I were going over to show some concern and check on how he was because he did look like (AND WAS) in great pain, the ACJC guy near us commanded us not to move because it was a foul. Honestly. I understand that we ought to play by the rules of the game, but it doesn't stop us from being flexible. I can jolly well return to my own position afterward. And like Leeqi said, no matter whether it was on purpose or accidental, it is basic courtesy and sportsmanship to APOLOGIZE to the person to whom you have inflicted pain on, is it not?
3. Driving around the field shouting AC ULTIMATE out of the car window is a clear taunt. I don't think anything much needs to be said about it because you as my blog reader are smart enough to rationalize the implications of doing that.
Despite how the day turned out, which ended in us getting silver and Cat being sent off to hospital because his skull was no match for that guy's elbow (he is now okay to those who care), it was actually kind of fun. Taking turns to dive into the mud for a layout drill (though some GUNIANGS didn't, ahem ahem) and slapping each other with mud-stained hands
The highlights of the day were the AC matches (TWICE against the same team imagine our frustration) which was a tough fight but which we eventually lost NARROWLY, BY THE WAY due to unforeseen circumstances and reasons that only ACJC themselves will know. But it is quite pointless to bring that up right now.
Yesterday was the first time that all 15 of us were present and playing together (this is highly reminiscent of Hadley cheerleading last year -.-) but the support and encouragement that the team gave was really.. mind-blowing really. And though this team isn't the one that I usually play on, I am glad to have been part of it.
At the end of the day it is not the gold that matters, but the effort, dignity and INTEGRITY we put in to trying to achieve it.
All that glitters is not gold. In words of Cat, "They may have won the battle, but they are going to lose the war".
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 11:26 AM
Thursday, July 24, 2008
#35: Obligatory post
Apologies to those who are still free enough to come to my blog and found that there has been a tragic lack of posts recently. My life has gone on holiday and it remains to be seen when it will return to its usual 'vibrant' and 'exciting' state.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 8:51 PM
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
#34: HAHAHAHAHA
I take it all back. Chengxiang is HOT.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 12:30 AM
Monday, July 21, 2008
#33: Beneath Painted Veneers
I don't feel like blogging much, but here's a quote.
Losers see what they're going through, winners look where they're going to.
I will be strong.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 10:51 PM
Saturday, July 19, 2008
#32: Quickie
Just a quick update to satiate Leeqi's bursts of boredom due to her free expanses of time. Apologies to my ardent blog readers (e.g. ZK, who claims that my blog is his most visited site TYVM) for the relative lack of updates but my life currently pretty much revolves around frisbee and many happy thoughts and let's admit it, we hate hearing about the happiness of others.
Training yesterday was a complete disaster, seeing as I have zero chemistry with yx whom I was supposed to partner and our drills lasted mega long because of that. Coupled with the fact that when team A trains, girls hardly get involved, Leeqi and I were basically sitting on the field watching the guys train. Not fun. And so we decided to make ourselves useful by walking to 7-11 to buy drinks. Alas! Our worth comes in serving guys.. Just splendid.
Match after that was not too bad however, even though we got whoooooooooped big time, it was kinda fun. And our team was just cheering each other on despite mistakes (this phenomenon is less often seen during our trainings) and this is what makes me proud of my team!
Dinner was the Ultimatum. I was trading pieces of chicken for other pieces of chicken, watch zf eat his spicy chicken meal while having his cheeks flush an awesome red that can usually only be achieved by A LOT of blusher, and laugh at gy's naiveness.
Because I am busy with PW now, and I phailed GP tragically, I will end this post with a IN CONCLUSION. I HAD A GOOD DAY.
I BID THEE FAREWELL AS I LAPSE INTO BOUTS OF INSANITY WHILE TRYING TO COMPLETE MY PW REPORT.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 10:38 PM
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
#31: Untitled (ooh paradox)
It's shitty how ONE PERSON can twist you up inside.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 10:58 PM
Monday, July 14, 2008
#30: Ignorance and Bliss.
Since I am feeling rather pensive today, and still fresh from the conversation on the train with leeqi and zhangkai, I shall blog about something that deviates from the usual blog post about my boring life.
Don't you ever get the feeling that being "smarter" in a way tends to rob you of many things? Being smart somehow seems to contribute to the tendency to think a lot about many things, and people who think a lot tend to have very little faith in others. Thinking about things makes you unable to accept a simple act of kindness, or look upon a tiny gesture without thinking and reading too much into it. Granted, it may give you many insights into things that have never been noticed before, but it is also easy to forget that it renders you unable to appreciate things simply as what they are, without wondering whether or not there is an ulterior motive behind it.
It seems, also, that wise people tend to be atheists or have less faith in a religion. Of course, this might be a hasty generalisation, but you cannot say that it is not at least partly true. Being wise/academically smart robs people of the desire to place your belief into anything else except faith in their own abilities, and believe nothing except what their eyes and minds tell them. But isn't it ironic that that is the very basis of faith? If something is placed before your eyes screaming at you to believe in it, then it isn't very much faith anymore is it? Having no reservations about something that isn't tangible and sticking to it no matter what - that, my friends is true faith.
Rather sad isn't it? It gets tiring to be questioning and thinking about things too much, that things simply can't be taken at face value. It builds walls between people. And too many walls, my friend, and you'll be living alone.
We also came to the topic of being nice. Sure, many people can be nice. But just how many people can be genuinely nice without having an ulterior motive behind it?
I personally don't believe in pretending to be nice to someone just to gain their favour, even though behind their backs I may think extremely lowly of that person. Many people think that just by getting people that they don't like to like them, EVEN IF they still don't like them, they automatically win. Sorry friends, you don't. And that obviously says a lot about you as a person.
I've always thought that there was a difference between cordiality and artificiality. If I really don't like a person, I do not deny that I will try to my utmost best to be cordial/at least civil to them (unless of course they prove themselves to be tragically unworthy of it or i simply cannot be bothered - which admittedly happens a lot) so as to avoid awkward silences and blank stares whenever eye contact is made, but I will not go to lengths to act as if we have been best friends since the day we met. Definitely, no one enjoys offending people, and it is only human nature that we feel comfortable with people liking us instead of otherwise, but if two people do not get along well, I see no point in pretending that they do. I appreciate that there is indeed value in trying to be nice to everyone, but it often compromises sincerity, and for people like me (i.e. impatient), it gets tiring, and I do not wish to treat people with hypocrisy.
It's probably easier to first try to bring yourself to like that person. But some people are simply unbearable and it is time to try the next step of trying not to dislike that person. If the problem persists then this is the line for you - "I do not like you, and I cannot pretend that I do. But let's engage in civil and awkward small talk occasionally". I'd also like to qualify that I'm not the easiest person to get along with, but I do have a set of principles which I base my life on, and we'd probably get along if we tried.
At this point I am no longer certain whether I still make sense. But if you disagree/agree, feel free to take it up with me on MSN or on my tagboard. I welcome intellectual banter.
This post is proof that despite my frivolous behaviour, I am able to hold up a discussion that does not involve frisbee or gossip.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 9:41 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
#29: I NEED THE WILLPOWER!
I am experiencing a dreadful lack of willpower required in order for me to complete my Chemistry homework, which until now (since 3 days ago), has been lying on my table, half-done.
That is probably due to my lack in aptitude for it, which culminates in a lack of interest and subsequently a lack of practice, fueling my absolute inability to do it, or anything remotely related (e.g. Bio).
Life is indeed a vicious cycle.
Today would have been absolutely apocalyptic if not for my new discovery,
honouredman, who has serenaded me with his genius renditions of pop songs via youtube videos. And this is contributing to my rekindling of my love for music by a large extent. To start of with, I shall be playing guitar hero at any opportunity I get.
Here, be awed.
And this is how my afternoon has been squandered away, watching random videos on youtube and looking for piano scores that could replicate half the awesomeness of the crazy imba guy in the videos. But I guess some people are born with it and some people aren't. How terribly unfortunate.
Okay I typed that 1.5 hours ago I lost interest kthnxbaiii
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 8:54 PM
Saturday, July 12, 2008
#28: Pride, Prejudice and PRESSURE.
Today was a weird day. Woke up feeling rather lethargic from all the decision making yesterday (my first thought in the morning was "WHAT THE THE HELL HAVE I DONE") and was pretty much jaded the whole day.
So I decided to accept the offer to get transferred to the first team AND decided to pull out of Oteam interviews. Don't quite know how I'm supposed to be feeling about both of it anyway. But the decisions have been made, and they cannot be changed, and I'll definitely do my best to maximise satisfaction (because I am a rational person).
Cts have come and gone, and now I'm suffering the backlash from my procrastination during the holidays - the results. Needless to say, I'm not very happy about it but I'll make a comeback during promos.
Training today was rather dismal, for I was throwing as if I didn't know what a frisbee was. Frowned so hard that I'm pretty sure I'll need Botox to deaden those frown lines in the future. Good mood resumed only after running 1.6 km around the track despite hating running. Leeqi and I pwned all the guys today, who were either cramping or cycling around the track (cat). Though we're pretty sure that by next training whatever enthusiasm for running will be languished.
Spent the rest of the day playing Wii at Leeqi's house. I completely owned Zhangkai and Leeqi at tennis, but bowling.. Let's just say I'm working on it. And I am a guitar hero! Leeqi will attest to that for I tortured their ears by repeating the same song numerous times in a bid to complete the stage, which I eventually did and Leeqi is jealous :) Though I am not quite good at Mortal Kombat. I attribute it to my peaceful nature.
--> I am a Wii-ner!
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 9:46 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
#27: Enlightening indeed.
Oh goodness, I just read through the previous few posts on my blog and I am quite disgusted at how I felt then. Well those feelings come and go, but SOME last for quite a while.
Today was a pretty splendid day, with Chemistry in the morning deviating from its usually tense mood and was even, dare I say, FUN. The rest of the lessons kind of wheezed past, except Econs, which to my dismay was conducted by the tutor with the sharp voice. Her screech can make your ears bleed, and even amidst the buzz of the lecture theatre, I could distinctly hear her microphone calling out for help.
The day ended with a bang, with the class surprising Esther with a cake after pretending to be uninterested in it for the entire day. Of course, the serenade of birthday songs was aptly arranged to be right in the middle of Econs tutorial, which incidentally kept me from going back to sleep. So this is my tribute to The Rugger: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER! MAY YOU LORD OVER THE BOYS IN OUR CLASS!
Hung around with the frisbee people after school and listening to them talk about their uhm, experiences. Not the best topic I must add, but it certainly was very entertaining and.. insightful. Dinner was all the more eventful when the guys decided to shoot ice at each other. Jarrell shot one at Joshua, who ducked, and expectedly, the ice flew to another table and hit some poor lady. Needless to say, her husband was not pleased.
Very glad I have friends like that :)
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 7:45 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
#26: Enough is enough
Whoa, now stop right there.
You're still not getting it. Though honestly, I don't expect you to.
But really. I'm just getting so sick of your ways of seeking attention. Well you're getting it man, but in all the wrong ways, let me tell you that.
And it sucks when all I can do is be a hypocrite and try to appear as though I'm getting along, but if I had my way, you'll probably be out of my life. This may just be a spur-of-the-moment post, but it is the only way I can sublimate my rage and wrath and agony, to prevent myself from erupting like a long dormant volcano.
I am not pleased, and trust me, you do not like it when I am not pleased. Ostentatious, odious and oblivious - that's what you are.
Oh God, please help me to forgive and forget ): Please slap me if I ever post about this again!
Now on to happier things! (okay yes that was an awkward shift in moods)
I'm really looking forward to frisbee on Saturday. It's really one of the only things that keep me going, even if yes, we may have to run 2.4km after every training henceforth, I will learn to enjoy it. And I'm pretty sure I'll be eating my words come next training.
I guess the good thing about being in team 2 is that there's a significantly larger margin for error, which doesn't come with the pressure of being in team 1. And in that way I'm probably glad to be in team 2, even though it is of course an honour to be in the first team, and have a chance at pretty pretty gold. But I'll probably be afraid to lose sight of what I quit squash to join frisbee for - not to place undue pressure on myself but really just enjoy working in a team and having fun instead of dealing with competition stress all the time. And that's what really matters isn't it?
Saturday please come quicccckkkkkkkk!
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 9:21 PM
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
#25: The Boundaries & How They are Crossed.
I got pretty mad today when I thought back about it. Some people just have to realize the difference between being adorable and being just plain annoying, and to know the difference between something that need not be fussed over and something that is of great importance.
Honestly I'm getting tired of navigating my way around this tricky situation.
Well I realise that I get quite overbearing when it comes to things like this, but really, no one understands that I have to be this way in order to get something done, and some people are just oblivious to things, even when it's blaring in their faces. I tell them to wake up their idea and snap back to reality.
It gets pretty annoying when people don't realise that they don't only have a responsibility to themselves, but also people around them whom their often-stupid actions impact greatly. Just by casually ignoring the situation, they think it's going to make it go away. Well newsflash dears, it's not, and it will never, and so if you are going to carry on this way, then don't blame me when things don't work in your favour.
Some people probably know what I'm referring to, and I'm hoping that the people I'm referring to would realise that I am. I don't enjoy being the domineering one, but you probably should ask yourself whether it's necessary.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 7:00 PM
Monday, July 7, 2008
#24: The Mac is Back.
My beloved laptop has returned after a period of inactivity due to the faulty plug which fused due to unforeseen circumstances of which I am still unaware of. But never mind about that. It is back and I love it very much :)
It's been a trying few days, seriously. I'm discovering more and more about myself every day and I'm not quite sure whether to be glad about it or not. This is causing an influx of emotions and thoughts of which I am unsure of how to handle, and the feeling of not being in control and in sync with all the changes is not quite comfortable.
But life is short, and far too precious to be dwelling on any single thing for such a long time, and I've learnt that no one is to blame for your foul mood, you have to do something to make yourself feel better.
So, today was the much-awaited outing with the squashers, though eventually out of a possible 7, only 4 turned up. I blame it on poor timing and a general lack of organisation which will be rectified the next time something is to be planned.
Am quite lazy to go into details, so I'll shorthand this. Great company, great food, good fun and lots of camwhoring.
Sucks to Mich and Zes who have defected and had dinner with the rjsquashers, and Yuwen, who shall be berated the next time she is sighted.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 11:53 PM
Friday, July 4, 2008
#23: Enigmatic
To put it plainly, I am not feeling fierce right now.
I'm pretty overwhelmed by the gamut of emotions that are hitting me in the face right now, both in terms of magnitude and variety. I didn't think it was possible to have that many feelings at once. Disappointment, confusion, little bit of undirected anger, torn by the need to remain optimistic and the want to just wallow in self-pity for a while coupled with PMS, and I am a time-bomb waiting to go off.
Well I can't say that I didn't see it coming though, I just hoped that perhaps things would have a chance of turning out another way. It's probably not politically correct to be thinking what I am right now, but I am only human, so just let me have my feelings.
To start things off, some people will probably never know what it feels like to have worked hard for something and have it wheezed past your face in the most unceremonious manner possible. And to have it repeated over and over again until your mind and soul is battered from fatigue and unsure of direction. To be holding on to faith so tightly and have something you hoped for prove to be a stab in the dark is like climbing up a mountain and then falling off a cliff.
I guess to have high expectations, of things, of people is a very bad idea altogether. The more you expect, the more you anticipate, the more you believe, the more you simply disappoint. I guess that's the way life is, and we should just roll with the punches. I'm glad, however, that some people are still worth the effort :) To people who say something and mean another, my anger is wasted on you.
To the people that have faith in me, I will work hard and try not to let you down, for I know what being let down feels like - awful. And though my faith may waver, it will never disappear despite the situation, because that's what faith's about - holding on when you feel like letting go.
This has been a cryptic and incoherent post with no semblance of organization whatever. Referred to many things, and people when writing this post, so please do not flippantly assume.
I'm not just a number, so watch me FLY.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 9:28 PM
Thursday, July 3, 2008
#22: I AM HOT.
Woe. I have been running a fever since PW in the afternoon and have been shivering my guts out even though it's a sunny day and I'm wrapped in a thick pullover. I suspect its the frisbee in the rain yesterday, which incidentally also caused my back, arms and quadriceps to ache horribly, culminating in the speed of my walking being reduced to match that of a tortoise on tranquilizers.
On a side note, trials went well yesterday, mainly because there were not enough girls and we're probably all in but at least I didn't need to deal with the pressure again. Pressure makes me lose hair. But I guess I'll have to train doubly hard in order to deserve a spot in the team; I really don't want to get in just to fill up numbers.
The train ride home today was especially harrowing. I was dizzy and my legs hurt, the train was crowded, and to top it off I had no seat and had to stand all the way back home. I was tearing from discomfort and this awful woman had to make things all bad. Here's what I'd like to say to her except it's rather rude to say in her face and I probably wouldn't dare to but she really ought to know that:
1. Lace darling? Nono.
2. It is hygienically unsound to be digging your nose and ears, scratching your face and biting your nails all at once. Much less in public.
3. When you dig your nose, don't do it so vigorously. I understand your determination to yank pieces of dirt out of your respiratory canal, but that amount of force often leads to nosebleeds.
4. Try to use just one finger if you REALLY must spring clean your nostrils. Yes, we were created with 5 fingers on one hand, but there is really no need to use them all. This would be what we call efficient allocation of resources.
She wasn't offending me or anything, but the fact that she had a seat and I didn't just exacerbated the gross things that she had to display in public domain. And all through the train ride there was a permanent look of horror and disgust etched on my face, it's probably going to take a fair amount of Botox to fix that.
And I ought to go to bed and convalesce now.
the weight of the things that remain unspoken !@#$ 9:17 PM
